


Hogwarts; The Realest History

by straylights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Viktor is Viktoria, randomassthoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-08-06 22:12:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16396058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straylights/pseuds/straylights
Summary: What is Hogwarts without its students? Basically boarding school shennanigans. Angst, teen drama, you have it!





	1. H.O.G.W.A.R.T.S

**Author's Note:**

> I'm importing Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones just because. Really, no real reason.

**Hogwarts:**

**~~A History~~ The Realest History, ~~~~**

**signed, _Harry_ , Hermione, Ron, Dany, Blaise, _Pansy_ , and Draco**

_For Hogwarts and unity –Harry Potter_

WHO DOODLED IN HOGWARTS: A HISTORY – Hermione Granger

Does this mean I’m friends with the Ferret –Ron Weasley

Must you sound like Dumbledore in a yearbook –Daenerys Targaryen

Blaise <3 Dany Forever –Blaise Zabini

_*draws penises* -Pansy Parkinson_

Salazar’s balls, I’m friends with the Weasel –Draco Malfoy


	2. The Cupboard

BLAISE LETS HIS HEAD fall back, to make space for his girlfriend. Anyone could open it, but he swore he would guard this cupboard like a mama Hungarian Horntail guards its eggs.

Weeks of stolen kisses and brief hallway gropings. Blaise is absolutely ready to combust from sheer frustration. “Well, I would have to say, never had I had a date inside a cupboard.” Dany looked at him in amusement. “You certainly exceeds my expectation.”

“I’m a desperate man, Dany,” he played with the hem of her shirt. “I haven’t gotten to a 10m radius near you the whole day. It’s incorrigible.”

Sweet, sweet, Daenerys smiled wickedly, her full pink lips mesmerizing on her pale face. Blaise held out his hand and brushed her platinum blond hair from her face and she shivered in anticipation, her violet eyes half-lidded.

Before he could act on it, however, the cupboard shook, and a most hateful voice rang.

“Zabini, where the fuck have you…oh hello, Dany,” Draco smiled. Blaise groaned in retaliation.

“Hello brother from another mother,” Dany said in amusement.  They had adopted that joke when too many people had pointed out their resemblance. Frankly, Blaise thinks that it’s that fluffy white tufts they called hair. But Draco and Dany had basically known each other since they were wee little babies, with Draco being a mere 4 months younger than Dany. Danerys was Regulus’ daughter, and when the man was killed by Voldemort, Narcissa wasted no time in swooping in and taking care of the girl.  “What got your knickers in a twist?”

Draco, curse his naivety, didn’t take the hint from the musky scent of the cupboard and Dany’s loose tie. He crammed himself with them, forcing Dany to sit on Blaise’s lap. Blaise was only thankful for the sole reason that it helps him hide a rather major problem on his lower-part of the body. Dany wriggled her hips tantalizingly and raised one eyebrow at the cockblocker.

That got Draco launching in a tirade about the nightmare that is Harry Potter. It mystified Blaise how Draco never runs out of new materials to complain about the brunet, and why Dany, despite being best friends with the said wizard, had never stopped him. Dany had only smiled and told him that ‘he’ll understand later’ when he asked.

“…and he had the audacity to say that I’m a horrible judge of character, going with a bimbo like Kat…” Dany winced. Kat is a tad out of her liking. The blond is hot, sure, but she has nothing else to prove her credentials. “And he said that I would fare better if I go with a someone that could at least tell between a Wolfsbane and a Cough medicine.”

“Really? He said that?” Blaise raised one eyebrow. Dany looked at him from the corner of her eyes, and he could tell what she is thinking easily. “I have an idea how you should get back to him.”

Draco sat eagerly. “Pray, tell!”

“Ask Harry to the dance.” He said, as genuinely as he can. “He’s bound to say no. And when he does, you could mock him to high heaven about not knowing the difference between Wolfsbane and a cough medicine.”

Draco’s eyes brightened. “Fuck, Blaise, you’re a genius!” he cackled. “I’m off now!”

As Draco scurried towards the Gryffindor Tower, Blaise shut the cupboard door and looked at a gleeful Dany. “So, was it to your satisfaction, princess?”

Dany gave another half lidded smile and continued unbuttoning her shirt, where Blaise could see a red lacy bra peeking towards him, a most gorgeous contrast against her pale skin. “Oh yes, sweetling,” she purred. “Very satisfied.”

Dazed, Blaise leaned over. But before he could do anything, the lynx patted him gently on the face. “But I have Quidditch Practice in 20. Rain check?”

When Draco found a huge, and mind you, Blaise Zabini does not do things half-arsed, Acromantula on his bed, it was deemed to be pure karmatic justice.

 

AFTER MAKING SURE that Dany has nothing scheduled for the rest of the evening, it was decided that they are going to give romping-around-the-cupboard another go. However, they only managed to get up to blood-curdling kisses before they got interrupted.

Draco blasted open the cupboard. Blaise wondered sincerely how the fuck Draco always managed to find them.

“Guys!” he howled, not unlike an injured werewolf. “HE SAID YES!”


	3. The Chosen Ones

“THE THEME of the ball is royal blue,” the Headmistress called out flatly. Ironically, Blaise thought, the theme fits him like a glove. The dance has been giving him blue balls, what with Draco whining at Dany every single day.

He looked sideways to where Dany was sitting next to Potter, talking in hushed whispers. Probably plotting the Dark Lord’s demise. It’s hard work, apparently, being the Chosen Ones.

 _And The Dark Lord shall mark his equal._ Who the fuck acts on a half prophecy? And marked two equals? Blaise doesn’t have anything personal against the Dark Lord, but boy, he’s a colossal idiot. Not only he managed to create powerful enemies for himself, he had also managed to be temporarily vanquished by James and Lily Potter, and Narcissa Malfoy nee Black, leaving the children merely with the ugly lightning bolt tattoo on Potter’s forehead and the totally cool Ouroboros around Dany’s wrist.

Dany had hated the mark, and Narcissa, being the #1 supermom, knows how much it stressed her out and encouraged Draco to get a tattoo. Which is why Draco spots on a cool-looking Flamel tattoo on his wrist.

Draco and Dany was as close as two human can be, and no one can begrudge them that. They were childhood friends, and for the briefest time, lovers. They only parted ways because they realized that while they love each other deeply, they were not _in_ love, therefore giving chances to plebeian blokes like Blaise and Potter to court the Black beauties (not like the horse). It was hot, though, imagining the two ethereal creatures together, and Blaise wondered if he could persuade Dany to invite Draco into their bed. Despite his shortcomings, Draco is a fit young man with a slight frame, and a most sensual air, someone Blaise will not resent sharing a bed with. He doubted his girlfriend would mind, given that they still have flings here and there before Dany ended up with Blaise.

He watched as Potter led the dance, while a furious Draco was refusing to look at his date. Potter doesn’t seem to mind, bless his simplistic, single-minded Gryffindor conscience. If Blaise had been pining over Dany, Potter, the unfortunate sod had been infatuated with Draco when they were 5 and Draco was throwing mud pies at him. Blaise is however on good terms with Potter, and had even shared the same fantasy of a group sex with their significant partners. Maybe, once Potter managed to get Draco to stop being so angry at him at all times, they could have some serious talk.


	4. Green Eyed Monster (like literally)

POTTER IS BEAUTIFULLY JEALOUS. Utterly destructed from pure envy. It was fascinating to watch, and bets were thrown here and there for how long it would take until Potter exploded.

It was obvious to everyone who have eyes. But Luna Lovegood is blind and even she could tell (she said she can see auras. The truth is yet to be found). Only Draco Abraxas Malfoy was shielded from this knowledge. Maybe God _is_ fair, and he makes the blond dumb to compensate for making the rest of the population feels inferior aesthetically.

Draco had been hanging out with Pansy Parkinson. Pansy is a heiress from the Sacred Twenty-Eight, a beautiful, dark haired beauty with long lashes and legs that won’t quit.

“He still doesn’t know, does he?” Dany said in amusement as she played with her food. Erm, he thought. Chocolates and strawberry jam. He knows exactly where to eat it from, and it’s not on toast. Dany must have sensed his thoughts because she smiled slyly and when no one noticed, give a little pinch on where he could tell her nipple is. Sneaky lil cat.

He stammered his response, making some unintelligible noise. “Nope,” Hermione Granger said curtly and ignored them, her face buried in a book as per usual as she furiously reads. Blaise doesn’t know why she bothers. The throne has been held by the sacred trinity of Draco, Dany and Hermione throughout the years. No one has ever managed to upset the balance of the perfect harmony, and Neville has foretold that the apocalypse is nigh on them on the day that it actually happens. “Funny thing is, he would have known much earlier if he doesn’t have his head up his arse. Fancy telling him, Ron?”

Ron Weasley was licking the jam off his spoon like the uncouth hellion he is. “Nada,” he smiled blissfully. “He’s been giving up his share of the Wanking Area in favour of scowling at the ferret, so all is well in Gryffindor Tower."

Blaise nodded empathizingly even as the girls scrunched their faces in disgust. Being a hot-blooded male in a dorm, he understood the importance of the private corner to the male specimen. He has no idea how the girls survives without the designated patch of heaven. But then, they probably have orgies inside the girls’ dorm. That was another theory by Neville Longbottom. Dany caught his eyes, and she grinned. He is absolutely smitten with this girl, she always knows what he’s up to.

A crash from the back and the whole school looked as Potter stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall, cloak dramatically flaring behind him. Pansy whispered something to Draco, whose eyes widened. He hesitated, but nodded and chased after his beau. Pansy smiled smugly as she shashayed to their humble table.

“I told Dray that Harry plans to vandalize the Slytherin’s Quidditch brooms and he bought it, the poor little bunny,” she answered their unasked question.

“Smart girl,” Ron said approvingly. Pansy leaned over and kissed her boyfriend deeply on the lips. With tongue. Gross.

“Can’t believe Harry still doesn’t know that Pansy is dating Ron. How many weeeks have it been? Two?” Blaise asked.

“I know, happy two weeks-versary darling,” Ron kissed her back.


	5. This School Needs More Cupboards Part I

BLAISE IS A MAN ON A MISSION. He half-dragged his girlfriend as he desperately hunted for an empty place. It was Valentine’s Day, and all rooms and closets are apparently occupied by horny students. After being thrown out of Greg in Slytherin Tower and Neville and Ginny from the broom closet, Dany and him had opted to explore further. Behind him, Dany giggled, and when he stopped, she latched on to his neck and nipped playfully.

His girlfriend is horny and there is no place for them to do the deed.

“Blaise,” she whined, and Blaise absolutely refused the horror of being found by Filch and Mrs Norris if they really do it on the corridor. But Dany took his hand and brought it to her damp panties, and Blaise almost threw caution to the wind, even if, God forbid, Professor Snape himself found them in an uncompromising position.

“The Astronomy Tower!” he said brightly. Brilliant! No one would be there this late at night.

Dany tittered and kissed him again. He slipped his hand inside her bra and flicked her nipple, groaning as she moaned.

They arrived there in record time, and he threw Dany on a mattress. “Come here, little kitten,” he said, panting.

“Oh fuck, baby,” a most annoying sound that is certainly not his perfect girlfriend appeared. “Fuck, baby, so tight,” the voice said breathily. “You are so gorgeous baby, so perfect…so…”

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” he roared. Harry and Draco, who were busy doing the nasty, jumped at his voice. Draco was as naked as the day he was born, on his hands and feet, bend over the table with his arse in the air while Harry was behind him, still in his robe. Finally noticing the other couple, Harry threw his robe over a yelping Draco, trying to protect Draco’s virtue. Blaise might require a whole pail of soap for his eyes after seeing so much of Draco’s arse.

He was rapidly wilting at that moment, and Blaise almost wanted to cry. “Harry? Draco?” Dany called.

“Oh hey, Dany,” Harry said flatly, probably facing the same problem as Blaise. Dany appeared, skirt skewed aside and buttons gone. Blaise didn’t notice he was that forceful.

“My, what a mess,” she brushed her fingers through her locks. She smiled deviously, and walked towards the couple. “Draco, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Draco wriggled free from Harry’s hold on him and smiled lustfully. Blaise didn’t even know he could get turned on from man, thank you very much. Harry’s face was on fire. “Only if it is utterly deviant and scandalous.”

“Oh it is,” Dany brought Draco’s hands to her tits and smashes her lips into his.


	6. This School Needs More Cupboards Part II

“BABY, _PLEASE_ ,” HE WHINED PITIFULLY. Besides him, Harry was in a similar predicament, probably worse off as he was actually in the middle of doing it before he was stopped.

The two young men found themselves tied to the pillar behind them, with their own ties.

In front of them, their two partners were moaning loudly, even though they were doing nothing but some thorough heavy petting. Draco was occupied, with his face burrowed in Dany’s tits, as he gave kitten licks all over her nipples. Dany held his head firmly, arching her back once or twice to increase the friction.

She opened one eye when her boyfriend called to her, only to smiled lustfully as she enjoyed herself. Draco gave a long lick, like a cat in heat, and Dany shuddered in delight.

From somewhere at the back, Harry Potter was crying.

“We get it, no more fighting,” his balls hurts like shit, and he wanted…needed to be inside his girlfriend now. It’s purely for his mental health. And Harry’s also, from the sound of him groaning like a tortured man.

“What…” Dany gave a tiny mewl when Draco flicked her nipple. “What do you think, Draco?”

“Darling, I think…” he gasped in satisfaction. “I think the boys have learned their lessons.”

Dany flicked her Orobouros tainted wrist, and Blaise could feel the tie loosening behind him. he wasted no time lunging towards the pair.

He was however beaten by Harry, who lunged and picked up his boyfriend. They fell in a heap besides Dany, and Harry was kissing and begging for more of Draco’s little mewls and gasps. “So beautiful, baby,” he moaned. He bit Draco’s nipples the same way Draco had did to Dany, turning him into a puddle of goo. “Come on, on your hands and knees.”

Dany lied on the floor, smiling at him. his heart stopped for a while. He’s used to lustful, mischievous smiles, but rarely does she smile so openly, just for the sake of it. It’s almost enough to make him stop in track. Only his hormone fuelled member managed to kick him back in direction.

He knew Draco had prepared her enough, so he thrusted inside, taking care to not hurt her. She let out soft sighs that he craved, and he kissed her again and again. He loved this girl, so much that it hurts.

When they were done, they said goodbye to Harry and Draco, who were contentedly lying on the mattress, with Harry spooning Draco from behind. He murmured softly to his randy lover, making Draco blushed furiously.

He walked Dany to the Ravenclaw dorm, and leaned over to kiss her goodnight, when they hear moaning near the fireplace. Even from afar, he could see the shadows of what is undoubtedly Ron and Pansy.

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, GUYS!”


	7. The Second Task

“Be fair, all the other places were occupied, okay?” Ron grumbled, as he walked hand in hand with Pansy. Blaise ignored him in favor of looking at Dany.

“But you guys are not even Ravenclaws, how the fuck do you even get in?” Dany voiced out from the scarves that Blaise had bundled on her.

“Hermione Granger,” they chorused and smiled impishly. Said perpetrator ignored them, and asked where Draco is. She had a glow on her face, probably from the time spent with the Viktoria Krum.

“He wouldn’t want to miss Harry’s Second Task,” she said. “And he’s gonna miss it if he doesn’t come down now.”

Blaise shrugged. “He wasn’t in his bed,” he told them. “Probably woke up early to coddle Harry or something.

When they got to the Lake, Harry was standing at the platform, a glorious view in his black and green wetsuit, probably a courtesy of Draco. He looked at them hopefully, though his face quickly fell.

“Now, what was that all about?” Ron said, annoyed. “He wants poms poms?”

Meanshile, Hermione was listing out things that they would probably take. “It would definitely be the Invisibility Cloak,” she said confidently. “It’s important and an inheritance.”

“Or maybe his Golden Snitch?” Ron volunteered. “The one he got from his first tournament.”

“Or maybe his porn collection,” Blaise drawled. “Priorities.”

Pansy snorted. “By which you mean Draco’s pictures in various pose? I regretted the day I broke into that boy’s locker. I dreamt of Draco for 3 days straight, that’s how Draco-centric the locker is.”

Dany didn’t join in the banter. She looked around, her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She has a bad feeling about this.

HARRY DOESN’T KNOW what to expect. He had memorized the song to heart, and he had even studied the entire ecosystem of the lake. What would they take from him that is so valuable?

Cedric told them that he had lost his Grandfather’s pocketwatch, and he is genuinely hoping that that’s what they took, for he’ll be in deep trouble if not. Viktoria hadn’t lost anything, same as Harry. Fleur thinks she might have lost something, but she also admits to being a total airhead about these so they could have taken a lot of things and she wouldn’t even notice.

Viktoria turned and waved at Hermione. Her dark curls framed her pretty face. Harry was more interested at the lake, however. “Your pretty boyfriend isn’t here?”

He growled, making it clear that he doesn’t wanna talk about it. He’s more than a little bit hurt that Draco haven’t come down yet.

When the whistle blows, Harry jumped into the water, amidst the loud cheering of the crowd.

He swam for a long time until he reached a chapel. He wavered, but decided to enter anyway. He was hoping that the other Champions would be nearby, at least.

Something’s wrong.

The Lake’s mermaids were floating, eyes wide and mouth opened. They had a petrified expression on their faces.

Further down the room, he could see three figures floating. He recognised Cho Chang, Cedric’s girlfriend, Nikolai from Durmstrang, Viktoria’s best friend, and Helios, Fleur’s boyfriend.

A horrifying clarity strucks him.

He lookeed around. Where was _his_ precious thing? Is he supposed to save one of these people? But it doesn’t make sense if one of the Champion would left their precious person.

A sudden creak made him look to the other corner of the room. The door was left ajar, and Harry swam there.

Draco. Draco was in the room, in the same enchanted sleep. However, there was someone with him, crooning and petting him lovingly. It’s a most beautiful woman, and Harry racked his head for information.

A siren.

He saw red, and he held out his hand. A hand was instantly on his shoulder and he saw Viktoria shaking her head wildly.

_You will hurt Draco._

He was startled by her ability to talk underwater. Viktoria smiled sheepishly. _My great-grandmother is a siren._

He gestured for help and Viktoria nodded she opened her mouth and sang. It was more melodic than the voice in Harry’s Golden Egg. The siren looked at her and gave a shrill scream, but she left immediately.

Harry went to Draco, checking him all over. _He seems fine,_ Viktoria said beside him. _But the siren must have broken his enchantment. He needs to be on the surface, NOW._

He nodded and dragged Draco with him. He could see the rest of the Champions. Fleur looked at her boyfriend, horrified. Cedric seemed murderous, but Viktoria calmed him down.

Harry swam rapidly, knowing that he’s losing time. Already Draco showed signs of waking up, and they are still underwater. He kicked ferociously, and when they broke the surface, he screamed.

 

“SOMETHING’S WRONG,” Dany said urgently. She stood up and ran towards the side of the lake. They looked at her in shock before Hermione had the initiative to chase after her.

They found Harry circled by a whole bunch of volunteers and professors. Dany roughly pushed them aside.

Draco was on Harry’s lap, unconscious. His torso was bleeding, sharp claw marks clear from his right chest down to his stomach. There were blood in his mouth. Harry was screaming for him.

Dany knelt besides him and touched him. His skin was ice-cold. The rest of the Champions were there, covered in towels.

“I don’t understand…” Fleur said tearfully. “Bagman said they’ll wake up once we break surface.”

“Move, you imbeciles!” Snape snarled. He usurped Draco from Harry’s hold, and carried the blond in his arms. “I’ll get Draco to Pomena. Albus,” he nodded once. Dumbledore nodded in return and covered the screaming Harry with a towel.

“NO! LET ME GO!” he bellowed. “DRACO!” he roared. “DRACO!”

“PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!”

Dany yelped as Harry fell on her. Hermione stood there, her wand out. She was gasping.

Even Snape was caught unaware at the sight of the golden Girl cussing at a teacher. “What the fuck is there to wait for?” she shrieked. “Go!”

“Go, Severus.”

Hermione fell on her knees, and held Harry’s hand. “Finite,” she whispered. Harry woke up with a jolt.

“Mione? Dany?” he murmured.

“Don’t move.” Dany closed her eyes and gathered Harry to her. “It’s fine. You have to remain calm. For Draco.”

He was clenching her so tightly that she is certain that it will bruise, but when Harry cried on her chest, she let him. 


End file.
